2011

Unironically voted the Inland Empire's sexiest Crystal Meth Addict with 4+ Supernumerary teeth for 2 years running #inlandempire

|@two_bros eating a foot-long sub from opposite ends

@warmandpunchy @CarlsJr @homework_liker I'd definitely say a burger is a type of sandwich. (Like a square is a type of rhombus.)

@Quiznos quick question: is a hamburger a type of sandwich, or are they two different categories?

@McDonalds Howdy McDonald's Twitter crew! I was wondering if you could settle an argument for me: is a hamburger a type of sandwich? Thanks!

@homework_liker A burger = meat between 2 pieces of bread; sounds like a sandwich to me!

lol the smash mouth guy and Guy Fieri are friends huff.to/qTvSzI

@robbercat In my opinion, yes. A hamburger is a type of sandwich.

thephoenix.com/Boston/music/1… did interview with @arr please read it. its about the time i met smash mouth

@unicorngirl1 how worthless a "south california" state would be without los angeles

@subwayfreshbuzz hi, just a quick question, is a hamburger a sandwich?

lol latimes.com/media/graphic/…

i took an icarly quiz and got sam

@pizzaUNOFFICIAL me too

mr. prez what is your stance on bitcoin?? #AskObama

@AlmightyBoob hahaha

if cousin skeeter conceived a child with a human woman it would look like the baby from weinerville

dunno why everyone's so excited to see the Hamburglar unmasked on live TV. it's obviously Alfred E. Neuman

@virgiltexas pregnancyglitters.com lmao

@woodmuffin ahem... rubbercat.net/2006_05_01_arc…

mr. zuckerberg: tear down this wall

Just asked God about all morality. It turns out you can do anything and go to heaven except skip ahead in joke-a-day calendars, the ult. sin

@woodmuffin lol

/!\ ALERT /!\ ANDY DICK HAS ESCAPED. IF YOU SEE ANDY DICK PLEASE CONTACT THE AUTHORITIES IMMEDIATELY. *DO NOT* MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM.

Just found out @HormelFoods is on Twitter. I immediately reported them for Spam.

don't use Brawny paper towels money goes to Koch Bros!!! all revolutionaries should use @Bounty instead

@brubinow arugula with dijon mustard

House Speaker John A. Boehner got to ask Mr. Obama “where are the jobs,” nyti.ms/pmWUSN

from now on if anybody tells me "i don't get twitter", i'm going to say "it's a website where you can guilt celebrities into eating eggs"

TOTMOM http://twitpic.com/5md4hl

@thatshygirl me please

google plus more like snagglepuss

HUFFINGTON POST POSTED MY SMASH MOUTH AMV!!! huff.to/oqwWPb

stuck @ aunts house.... forced to use quilted northern paper towels instead of @bounty... uggghhhhh

why don't we just outsource our justice system to nancy grace and to catch a predator?

.@Bounty paper towels really helped clean up all the blood after my cousin's firework mishap

OK fans-We accept your egg challenge. If you can raise $10,000 for our favorite charity then it's ON! causes.com/causes/622845

sometimes I use @Bounty paper towels instead of napkins... shhh...

best friends http://twitpic.com/5kx00o

agreed⤵

Swiffer is nice and all, but I'll be a @Bounty man until the day I die

@homework_liker *peels off slate logo, revealing RetroJunk.com logo underneath*

hamburglar by day, turd burglar by night

w00t beer

tom from myspace and parked domain girl should get together

when you said house party i thought you meant the tv show *takes off cuddy wig*

why can't i find a nancy grace soundboard. TOTMOM TOTMOM UNLEASH THE LAWYERS BOMBSHELL BOMBSHELL

just heard a rumor they're rebooting alex mack for generation z. this time she'll be younger, perkier, and an aspiring pop starlet

GEORGE: It's just common sense. Anybody knows, ya gotta keep your Google+ Circles apart. (gesturing with hands going outward)

.@jk_rowling are there disabled wizards?

The romantic partner of my dreams has to be very rich and understanding of complete and utter incompetence.

You're going to be seeing Roman Polanski's "Knife in the Waiter" if you don't get my food out here pronto. - Roman Polanski ordering dinner.

someone just told me google+ supports animated gifs... i am so there girlfriend

when papa became an executive at universal, he threw out all my disney toys. "FROM NOW ON YOU ONLY LIKE CURIOUS GEORGE AND WOODY WOODPECKER"

now taking donations on kickstarter to fund my next web venture, Just Slideshows and Top 10 Lists (JSTXL)

@space_info dadstep

in retrospect Doc Brown really should have stopped Marty from marrying his high school sweetheart and continuing his Huey Lewis cover band

@RubenBolling re: gocomics.typepad.com/tomthedancingb… - please continue to post links on your blog, i don't follow boingboing & sometimes i miss your tweets

I force my cat to drink liquor with me that way I have a clear conscience when I tell people I'm not drinking home by myself.

idea: a @twittersuggests parody account that suggests people to murder

@ryanpequin whoa when did you turn into kurt vonnegut?!?

@Mobute "I think many of us preferred the heart and soul of the first movie." - someone talking about a movie based on an 80s toy commercial

@andybugay you just got tiktok'd

I'd like to direct the court's attention to Exhibit F - a transcript of a text adventure game in which the defendant typed "kill" 136 times.

@AttentionStaff i dreamed about you last night

@TacoBell can you please give me and @natazilla the rights to "nacho and dog"

Everyone is born with a twitter account. When they pass away they publish a "Best of (ur name)'s Tweets"

@kcgeep it's like an unintended sequel to this panel thehairpin.com/2011/06/sequen…

@J_Chastain Archive.org mirror of childhood only picked up 8 years of sleeping plus one memory of Mysterious Cities Of Gold cartoon opening

CCAN SOMEONE PLEASE RE HOST ME CHILD HOOD BEACH MMEMORY//////[..CRYING]]///

does anyone know who I can talk to about buying the rights to nacho and dog? http://lockerz.com/s/114456827

Just realized I've been walking around all day with a major case of VSL (visible stink lines)... how embarrassing

@homework_liker hahahahaha

George holds a sit-in bc the chef refused to cut his panini diagonally; Jerry is incredulous after learning that Elaine despises cheesecake.

the flash mob pointed a gun at me & told me i'd better include adobe flash lite on my tablet, or there'll be consequences... im shakeing...

“Like it or not, we are now living in a cyberpunk novel,” systems administrator Darren Kitchen told The New York Times earlier this year.

If this gay marriage thing really ends my strait marriage & its all official tonight that opens up some real new possibilities 4 the weekend

@BigFatWhale hooray!

exclusive behind-the-scenes look at that last tweet http://twitpic.com/5gbkkp

bad news guys, @smashmouth ate the eggs but @fart forgot to bring his camcorder so there's no proof

Peter Falk: Beloved by comedians and cartoonists. And everybody else. http://twitpic.com/5g8kn1

.@ai_agw @theirctrout @Taaalkboooy y'all let me down :[ twitter.com/#!/robbercat/s…

I know it is crazy late but heeyyy new Three Word Phrase up! It is about sports interviews: threewordphrase.com/hockey.htm

aw man i just wrote over my saved game and i have to start all over

disturbed by this trend of mic check guys being more charismatic than the actual band

For those concerned about the Pop-Tarts airdrop of '01, it should be noted that Afghanistan did return the favor: http://yfrog.com/kios3mj

# of Pop-Tarts dropped on Afghanistan as part of U.S. airborne food aid in the first month of bombing: 2,400,000 (Jan '02) #HarpersIndex

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Religion_War aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahaha

@unicorngirl1 still get mad thinking about this old kinkos guy who was a dick to me ~7 years ago when i was just trying to photocopy a zine

RT @robbercat:seinfeld home early climate hoax stephen fry IRC

@robbercat Here's to those who wish us well, and those who don't can go to hell.

seinfeld home early climate hoax stephen fry IRC

what the?? @McDonalds is selling anti-virus software now??? #mcafee #mccafe

In popular culture [edit] *The animated series Family Guy made a reference to Bounty, in the episode Fore Father.

yess!!! now i can follow a brand of paper towel!!! thanks @Bounty

@bug_deal hang on let me find it with twitter search *is unable to find tweet from over a day ago* *notices "©2011 radium" @ bottom of page*

@roscow there's two sides to every story

is the unicode snowman wearing a hat or a fez? our experts weigh in when the situation room returns ☃

writing your tweets in notepad instead of the What's happening? box because you're scared you'll accidentally hit "Tweet" too soo

2 sick 2 tweet 2day >_<

my windows 7 #phonestoobig , did the xbox team make it???

@chaosaxiom you're bald

merlynlear.com/gallery3D/05im… (via @unicorngirl1)

in the history of man's creative works, a toy commercial for children finally taught my robot heart how to love

where do food trucks go during the nighttime? #dontknow #questions

heard ed henry is leaving cnn for fox news, remembered this @wonkette @jim_newell post, chuckled bit.ly/iv6SWx

@woodmuffin i spent $500 learning how to unsee the fedex arrow and now you show me this???

"I don't get no retweets" - @RodneyDangerfield

taught a baby how to wave goodbye... became a witness to the first infant ta-ta

my internet website is eight years old today!!! rubbercat.net/mt/2011-06/ind…

#mydadgetsnorcalbecause he gets hyphy and says hella a lot

POLITICAL SCANDAL: Did Justice Clarence Thomas abuse his position to get "That Darn Cat" (1997) inducted into the National Film Registry?

the whole point of the book cover is for you to get a quick idea of what the book is about.

don't worry guys i still have a bunch of frito-lay planet lunch ploids in reserve (was saving up for a yak bak) #bitcoin

fake mustache + Frank nametag concealed for YEARS waiting for perfect time to say "May I be frank for a moment" & now you want a divorce?

hungry like dick wolf #dickwolfsongs

@woodmuffin The Stranger is indifferent to his mother's death & killing an arab... but when he sees frys dog dying the tears start a-flowin

really sick of seeing the word lulz whenever i read the news

two bros playing with spirographs

I like my women like I like my coffee... merely as a prop signifier of my social status

say the konami code three times in front of a mirror for an extra powerup #lifehacks

#somebodytellmewhy mary kate olsen killed Heath Ledger

Ghostride the bus / 'Cause I don't have a car / Stood in line for nine hours / To get tickets to Bill Maher #UnimpressiveRapperBragging

why does scott adams continue to say things

america is the mom of the world

“She’s got more experience than Obama has,” she said. “Has Obama had 23 foster children?” http://nyti.ms/mDlps4

"You're not my type" just got a whole new meaning. Coming to theaters in August 2011... Times New Romance

@woodmuffin totally thought it was going to be someone roleplaying as "community" star donald glover

@NoraMartinHall i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll184/a…

o< NOAM CHOMSKY GOT A NAME CHANGE HIS ORIGINAL NAME WAS NAOMI o-

weinerville is ruled by a puppet government (specifically, mayor dottie)

bitcoins are too mainstream, it's all about namecoins now bluishcoder.co.nz/2011/05/12/nam…

hahaha nationalpostnews.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/riot5.…

@thatshygirl get checked for vampirism ASAP

rip latenite funnyman conan o'brien, died after injesting poisonous blowfish during a cooking segment with paula deen gone awry

@thatshygirl oh no! was it human or animal

*giant blimp flies overhead* Google Rick Santorum

@homework_liker the bubble thing lmfao

DOES THE PILSBURY DOUGHBOY HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE I WANNA POKE HIM

@homework_liker oh i didnt see your tweet mate

what in the hell tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/06/in-ca-… via @tpm

two bros dressing up as their favorite webcomic characters

Webcomic Cosplayers

rip RT @ryanpequin I will have a heart attack if this goes to game 7. I will literally die.

@lordbeef omg afktavern.com/news.php o_o

left winger sticking it to the man #StanleyCupOrCollegeProtest?

@lordbeef are you tweeting from Hell

these guys are like twins #GOPDebateOrStanleyCup?

nice deflection #GOPDebateOrStanleyCup?

look at this fucking caveman #GOPDebateOrStanleyCup?

blatant pizza advertising #GOPDebateOrStanleyCup?

CNN said they would have post-game analysis. Literally, it said post-game

too many men #GOPDebateOrStanleyCup?

Wow. The right wing just attempted a headshot #GOPDebateOrStanleyCup?

None of these people deserve to win #GOPDebateOrStanleyCup?

@robbercat An aggressive stand against Canada. #GOPDebateOrStanleyCup?

*Stanley

the man from massachusetts makes a good point #GOPdebateOrStanelyCup?

what a cheap shot #GOPdebateOrStanelyCup?

Editorial Cartoon: June 13, 2011 http://onion.com/lkinWw

Front Page News: Something Awful's Unintentional War Against Bitcoins: Over the weekend mercenaries were hired t... http://bit.ly/k6irxZ

@unicorngirl1 chromaluna.com/content/birthd…

let's put all our money in ~*the cloud*~

@Wood_Thrush no i just saw a thing on @BreakingNews earlier

why did twitter shorten an already shortened url... smh

@Wood_Thrush goo.gl/news/PYNz

BREAKING NEWS: someone pretended to be a girl on the internet

lmao @ anthony weiner gym pics

someday my dream of a .corn tld will be realized

Q: what is goofy's favorite hockey team? A: the vancouver ga-hyuks :-P

The worst is when you ask a guy how he is and he tells you.

Open the closet and realize every shirt you own came from a viral marketing event #thelifestyle..

@WeinervilleTV any relation to anthony weiner?

are you feeling lucky, punk? yews.tumblr.com/post/5500694351

@NBCUniversal hey this page doesn't work http://www.nbcuni.com/cable/nbc-universal-international-television-distribution

@andybugay haha that reminds me of http://nbcuniversal.tumblr.com/ "we’ve got a lot of nostalgia to mine" *gives up after 2 posts*

hillary clinton 4 world bank prez. shes good w/ money like the time she gave mark penn millions of dollar$ to implode her campaign

@wolfpupy cat planet http://www.ljplus.ru/img4/u/n/unomoralez/kittycity_02.gif

#Super8Secret those aren't mints on your pillow

http://www.nytimes.com/images... thought this said "mons" at first

new mcdonaldland character, stephen fry kid

@robbercat Been FWD:ing RIP Gender Page to Friends......Most Are In Shock """why did this happen so soon!!! he had gr8 health!!!" - moms

I'll gladly pay with bitcoins Tuesday, for a hamburger today.

@countpunchula thank you :]

we found bin laden and duke nukem forever is being released :-o

The last word on bitcoins: http://www.weusecarrots.com/

lmao got retweeted by @bitcoinmedia

internet libertarian decries fiat currency, invests heavily in bitcoin

Ah, I'm glad you asked. Many people would say season three, but something so obvious could never be the best season of "Buffy." Indeed...

well, i would hope not http://flic.kr/p/9RfVtw

al jaffeera

@lordbeef i can't control my horny layer

icons on the desktop + fullscreen applications??? you're blowing my mind here apple

@lordbeef whats a quarter. is that some new kind of bitcoin

@virgiltexas @BigFatWhale :-o

assistant dream catcher #mydreamjob

vancouver canuck creams horton, possible marketing stunt for tim hortons vancouver cream donuts? http://30fram.es/36n http://bit.ly/iJP2TT

GIVE ME THE POWER, I always hated that a dog playing online poker Q: What was synonymous with cobwebs? — http://thatcan.be/my/next/tweet

The New Adventures of the Real, Actual Ghostbusters. Completely serious about this.

When critiquing a dog, we have to ask: "what does it do that is particular to the dog form?"

@FamousCeleb i tried submitting that to http://awesomepeoplehangingouttogether.tumblr.com but their submit page isn't working

.@Dennys Do you think you could donate 24 eggs to the @smashmouth egg derby? It's for a great cause and it only takes 24 eggs!

if you link me to lockerz photos i am more than likely to not click that link

@woodmuffin if you want to do a nut, you should give my ex-wife a call

i'm performing a wedding via skype

@CBoyardee Fan Petition: @TellTaleGames Must Acquire Bobby's World License By August 1, 2011 (First And Only Warning)

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/smash-mouth-eggs.php #eggchallenge @smashmouth please. the eggs. please eat them

.@mtvnews @ENews @Billboarddotcom @nprmusic @stereogum @RollingStone @EW @cnn why aren't you guys covering the @smashmouth egg challenge???

Political Cartoons http://www.chicagotribune.com/media... (via @andybugay)

a man walks into a chatroom. the moderator says, "why the long emoticon?" the man says, "my cyberlover is having an affair with a chatbot!"

maf54 and bradass87 walk into an aol chatroom

@AllNightDiner yeah http://goo.gl/fb/oSilf i just started getting it

@BigFatWhale lmao @ heroic drone pilot

.@youtube how do i disable this crap http://twitpic.com/56icx8

Go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. He'd be so freaked out that a baby is trying to murder him, you'll have the element of surprise.

i'm the spelling bee!!! *casts honeymorphus charm on bowl of cheerios, turning them into honey nut cheerios*

i have infiltrated the secret dog-only internet!!! their version of youtube is just videos of bacon sizzling

http://i.imgur.com/2hPyp.jpg that shrine of the silver monkey? got one of them shits on my dash. thats how i start my car

"weinergate" scandal shocks weinerville community after anonymous dinosaur claims mayor dottie is actually a man in drag

IDEA: isitrainingoutsiderightnow.com [Legal Notice: This Tweet constitutes a trademark and entitles the Tweeter to royalty payments.]

EASTER EGG: drag the google street view dude onto a pic of a sleeping friend to enter his dream & explore his deepest fears in full panorama

i routinely fail captchas. is this what the singularity is?

i keep getting @virgiltexas's avatar confused with @joshtpm's

@normmacdonald hi norm

@robbercat let's go to san bernardino and meet single moms' with muffin top's, no teeth, and track marks

breaking new,s they have just finished mapping the human gnome, check it out http://goo.gl/8hkzS

@dinosaurjrrk montclair > claremont imo

i think casey anthony may have killed her daughter... just a feeling i have

Very excited that Bud finally let us start the Official Tool Time Twitter Account! We're going to rev this up with MORE POWER! -Tim

@AlmightyBoob id see it but im saving up all my starcoins for the hungry hungry hippos movie

@AlmightyBoob haha i seen that trailer too

dreaming up new home improvement scene transistions

i hope these tweets never stop getting retweeted http://twitter.com//Hulkhogan/status/170673582 http://twitter.com/Salon/status/14108921022

still dont know what dubstep is

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▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▐╱▕▓▓▓ come in

what's the exchange rate of bitcoins to ron paul liberty dollars? need know ASAP

watching a judge judy about myspace

@andybugay hahaha

my goal for 2011 is to learn all the words to the "busted" song from phineas & ferb

RT IF YOU HAVE
┏━┳┳━┳━┳━┳━┓┏━┳━┳┳┳━┳━┓ ┃┗┃┃━┫┗┃━┫╋┃┃━┫━┫┃┃━┫╋┃ ┃┏┃┃━┫┏┃━┫━┫┃┏┫━┫┃┃━┫━┫ ┗━┻┻━┻━┻━┻┻┛┗┛┗━┻━┻━┻┻┛♥

DOES GOOGLE WALLET TAKE BITCOINS

.@Samsungtweets bring back zoll

i suddenly remembered mr. boppo from rugrats. the second google image result is reptar/mr. boppo action :[

@robbercat Brenda Just be came Mayor of My heart <3 on @FourSquare http://www.4sq.cx/1488

haha I bet more than one person has proposed via twitter

bitcoins

digg.com

people are still making oswald/ruby and vietcong execution photoshops o_o RT @Something_Awful: http://bit.ly/iod9yD

. http://twitpic.com/531oa1

all this time i thought "elevator pitch" was synonymous with "muzak timbre"

@pizzaUNOFFICIAL sorry to hear about your misfortune man

@brenky i'm freaking out!!!!!

IGOOGLE CHANGED THEIR WEATHER ICONS WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF

i can no longer see the letters in the fed ex logo

#areasonwhyimsingle i have yet to perfect the technology of the Michael Keaton film "Multiplicity"

That sound is the conventional wisdom shattering.... again.

ALL MONSTERED UP...............

wait... did you say romantic or rom hack-ish

@ryanpequin twit the shit

spraypaint "GETTY IMAGES" everywhere

dick wolf denies rumors; "this story about meloni is baloney"

do dead ghosts go to ghost heaven....

RT @homework_liker: help @tacobell, Fire saucw packet xpeloded & its in my eysye. Cant see or read the hialrious jokes printed on the pakcet

@homework_liker lmao

Confirmation from Snopes: Hamburger is a sandwich

wtf RT @twitter we're rolling out an email notification that lets you know if someone you follow retweets or favorites one of your Tweets.

search story http://youtu.be/tw_4aUZbzJA

exoticizing the significant other

RIP Peewee Herman 2011. Died of exhaustion; the secret word yesterday was "rapture." My thoughts are with his weird talking objects

that's weird... the packaging on this CD says it's a glee soundtrack, but the disc says "kidz bop"

Critterion Collection announces next two releases: Grasshoppers and Ladybugs

Looks like Pogue could end up in the slammer. courant.com/community/west…

nanny is maris crane?!? this fraiser/muppet babies fanfic is INTENSE

i can never remember how to spell the dog pianist muppet's name #rowlf

follow friday @RubberCat @woodmuffins @fort @big_deal @AGentleBreeze @skylark #ff

GIVE ME THE POWER, I BEG OF YOU!!! *camera pulls back to reveal i'm pointing to an issue of nintendo power*

OK, film critics, listen up: u need 2 shut up & stop hatin' on POTC: On Stranger Tides. The fans don't give a bleep about u!

Subj: MountainDew GameFuel (@mtn_dewgamefuel) is now following you on Twitter!

drilling our mountains for dew is unsustainable. we need to find alternative energy sources for our gamer fuel

for the first time a kennedy is the one being cheated on

.@bwilliams Theres a Thai Rainbow Water Snake loose in your precious NBC studios!!! youre probably wondering how I already know that......ha

finally figured out the new pseudonym embarassed directors use instead of Alan Smithee. what the heck is a "McG" though??

"What is the dinosaur equivalent of an iPod? These are the things I'm thinking of" Seth McFarlane on the Flinstones reboot #fuck #shit #whoa

hey guess what: kevin smith sucks and so do his movies. [ominous thunderclap] i wrote a bunch of words about it: http://bit.ly/j66QcS

RT if you hate Monday's!

Photo: No idea how I got on this mailing list. http://tumblr.com/xb12kfuk8z

A kid finding out he's Schwarzenegger's secret son is like Harry Potter shit happening in real life #amazing

stop using lockerz y'all

some dramatic irony courtesy of entertainment weekly rubbercat.net/mt/2011-05/#00… #schwarzenegger

little known cosby fact: the cosby show, cosby, fat albert, and little bill all take place in the same universe #cosby

Trump's presidential campaign was just as fake as Stephen Colbert's, except Colbert actually tried to get on the ballot

You won t learn how to build the confidence you need to achieve your dreams.

@homework_liker ahahahahaha

what kind if idiot thought "lockerz" was a good name for an image hosting service

increased daily caprisun dose to 2 sacs. I'm getting an early-Aerosmith kind of sound out of my children. Laid back

the 80s were a very confusing time... who's the boss? where's the beef? nobody knew, and yet we persevered

better link: http://twitter.com/#!/stephenwalcher/studio60

C-3PO was not supposed to be a robot, Anthony Daniels just played him that way. #starwarstrivia

ANIMEJIHAD IS CHANGING ADDRESSES SOON!!! http://bit.ly/j90A3W

News: Cartwright to Atheist: Don't Have A Cow, Man http://bit.ly/lmqvYJ

argh i just fell down a couple stairs... why didn't anybody warn me

Shed No Tears For The Animated GIF http://rubbercat.net/misc/tears/

old man yells at cloud computing

gotta stop clicking on trending tweets

@AlmightyBoob lmao your shower is filled with cobwebs because you never use it

Perhaps the MOST ENTERTAINING AND BIZARRE political story of the decade. Huckabee's time machine to save America http://tpm.ly/kbDcW4

that pronunciation book guy is starting to creep me out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdYlmamudFo

is there any reason to continue living now that chicago code has been cancelled...

imagine someone hacking into your lights and washing machine and making them go off at inopportune times #androidathome

oh how i wish nickelodeon would return to the days of really ugly klasky csupo cartoons (wild thornberries, rocket power, as told by ginger)

people are being nostalgic about rocket power? really?

"Ergo, ogre" -palindromic philosopher Kerhs Shrek

so google is putting "beta" in actual product names now #smh

i'm gonna be hella pissed if malia obama & justin bieber's wedding isn't televised

@homework_liker Needs More Cowbell

"internet" http://twitpic.com/4vmqcw

LADIES--- call me High-Concept Tumblr Blog because you'll love me but be real embarrassed when you see me at Barnes & Nobel in like 8 months

dads & grads, moms & proms

@woodmuffin this one is up there too http://i.imgur.com/QHKdL.jpg

tragedies in 2009: air france flight 447, fort hood, the new nickelodeon logo

Why Obama is Like Thor #tomorrowseditorials

@woodmuffin *spins pistol on finger, blows smoke from its barrel, then puts it back in holster* ):]

VVVVVVVV this guy blows

GUINNESS WORLD RECORD: A DOG KILL BIN LADEN http://nydn.us/iAGEPQ

daria morgandoofenshmirtz

Homer's Web Page rubbercat.net/simpsons/homer/

@omegalod why thank you

Wake up, America! Demand the truth: Why Was That One Muppet Riding A Real Dog In The Labyrinth, What Was Up With That #teaparty

@AGentleBrees lol

lol at the existence of this twitterbot: @ItsJonNotJohn

we now know osama bin laden drank coke and pepsi - bloom.bg/jxz2vk - but the real question remains: DID HE CALL IT POP OR SODA

#mspa nothing has actually happened in the past month >:( #webcomicproblems

*goes superwayan*

i'll vote for the pizza guy if he promises free pizza

finally all the greatest hits of the 70s 80s and 90s in one place *points to trash can*

yeah i guess you could follow me on twitter and get a few jokes here and there, or you could just read all the Maxine greeting cards at once

CANT WAIT 2 SEE WHAT MATT n TREY HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS WHOLE BIN LADEN SITCH...

In 2011 a team of al-Qaeda deep-sea divers scour the Arabian Sea. Their mission: save Osama's brain.

@xcoxlive please dont call them that i am raising them to be genderless chyldryn

wtf how did a bunch of monsters get past airport security http://yfrog.com/h77hzkcj

Bin Laden: "take my wife...please!!" #jokes #funny #humor #relationships #youknowyoumyexwhen

Osama Bin Laden was killed before Duke Nukem Forever came out

lol jk

now the wars can end

I always hated that guy

@Horse_ebooks tehhhh.... teh teh teh tehhhhhh

a bug died inside my peanut butter cup. pest in reese :(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7bwbl6UHU8 #idiot #shit #bad

@FrizFrizzle thanx

@coolnetguy remember the 90s - once a question, now a command & commandment.

phyllis is the mother of the scranton strangler?!?

@virgiltexas White Flight has taken on an entirely new meaning in the era of the Jetsons

The vast amt of fed spending doesn't go to poor ppl SO we don't hv 2b a heartless society 2 hv a solvent gov't.

@space_info http://i.imgur.com/9Ouqh.jpg

do people still send e-cards

@kcgeep sooooo cooooooool

There exists an asymptotic netherworld in cartoons just above the Muppet Babies' heads and below the Jetsons' houses

@homework_liker oi he's nicked me identity

underpanties, the panties you wear under your panties

If i made that joke irl it would get 0 likes/faves

while the commonwealth dorks are teary-eyed and crying i'm going to be drunk and yelling at king george and flipping off that tv wedding

grapefruit is a great fruit. let it be known

logger. jogger. vlogger. flogger.

*opens door to texas governor's office, but finds it unoccupied* "Hey... where's Perry?"

the producers of the atlas shrugged movie should've marketed it as an unauthorized prequel to bioshock

@woodmuffin haha

I can't decide whether getting your tombstone engraved with "here lies ________ / peperony and chease" would be be awesome or goony

I refuse to believe that the Futurama universe holds only Bender and Flexo. Too common a model for only two. I reject the Bender binary.

Today, Obama showed his freedman papers to the patrollers.

President Obama's Long Form Birth Certificate whitehouse.gov/blog/2011/04/2… / pfft, I've seen movie tie-in ARGs more convincing

z

DOES ANYONE KNOW A WEBSITE WHERE I CAN GET DAILY DEAL$$$???

Well it's an erotic romp through Colonial Williamsburg featuring the sensual ghost of Dio penned by urs truly. Oh. The Ereader. It's A Nook.

I wonder what "sheenanigans" Charlie Sheen's gonna get into next!

@QVT hahahaha

@justinxreese thanks doggie

Editorial Cartoon: April 25, 2011 http://onion.com/dNiyaL

eating a egg

Why the Luongo face, Roberto?

http://j.mp/hJSMtF - tina's gonna be a great character w/ a distinct personality & will soon be a highly beloved member of the looney tunes

@wolfpupy can i submit a toad or is that a violation of the TOS?

@NoraMartinHall cool

@ryanpequin @presidentbird he's blue?!? IS THIS CANON

it's been four years since I made my first tweet! http://twitter.com/robbercat/statuses/35582122

new comic!!! ---> Anthropomorphic Republican Talking Duck, Jr. in: "The Fourth Estate" http://j.mp/dXnhJI

fun fact: the koosh ball was invented by representative dennis kuchinich

My Babyz escaped into File System and have been hex editing their DNA for months. Caught one benchpressing my MP3 folder. Too muscular.

why doesn't the etrade baby age. what the heck

Hmmm this batch of beer isn't what I was going for but it's quite good. I guess it's just a hoppy accident

Of the Manning brothers, you assume I'll say Bradley Manning is the biggest failure, but no, it's definitely still Cooper Manning.

does archie comics exist in the same universe as icarly??? http://twitpic.com/4mydxi

@unicorngirl1 lol

on the internet, nobody knows you're a dog playing online poker

Class of 2011. Blow it out your ass. Blow it out your ass. Blow it out your ass. I've got balls of steel. I've got balls of Blow it out your

tvtropes is an un-thing trying to rewrite all aspects of our world into "tropes"

Q: What was the web designer's favorite brand of beer? A: <P><BR >

great, even sunkist tuna is jumping on the hipster bandwagon. just look at their new mascot: http://goo.gl/EzOlM *rolls eyes derisively*

@andybugay thought you meant the physical magazine had returned and i was like whaaat

yes!!! go blackwolf!!! RT @MagecraftNYC So I'm gonna make plans to develop me own reality show. Might as well; everyone else has theirs.

@homework_liker lol at every tweet he's made over the past month http://twitter.com/#!/ChuckGrassley/status/56786156519563264 "political"

i made an easier-to-find link for the where are the jobs thing http://rubbercat.net/misc/grassley.html

Untitled Paul Reiser Vanity Project (working title)

how come it always says "retweeted by x and others" even if it's only one dude

I'm tryna have a 3 some with Louise Griffin & Marge Simpson

the etsy bit.ly spider likes to use twitter to promote it's hand-decorated novelty waterspouts

next time you're watching "doug" and singing along with the theme song say "doodie" instead of "do do" #lifehacks

time to do some heavy thinking http://j.mp/fxmEn4

where can a grown ass woman see a puppet show in new york city anyway

@woodmuffin here's mud inouye!

James Inhofe Nearly Killed a Bunch of People Landing Plane Last Year http://bit.ly/icTAgy

@woodmuffin http://estatefourpointone.tumblr.com/

.@NBC solution to your today show situation: replace meredith viera with jay leno, restore conan to his righful place as tonight show host

Had a dream @robbercat was a senator IRL and could hang out with chuck grassley IRL

Imagine feeling human http://j.mp/dFEUrh

WHAM! BIFF! POW! Comics aren't just for adults anymore

Features / Articles: Twitter Tuesday: April 12, 2011: The fun doesn't stop at Horse_ebooks! http://bit.ly/hb9v68

Front Page News: Horse_ebooks: What if the greatest Twitter user of all time were a horse? It is. http://bit.ly/fXEyru

i only just now noticed that @kcgeep 's website is "kcgreendotcomdotcom"

can't wait for the charlie sheen episode of celebrity deathmatch

@ItsDings ha ha me too

"US budget is like Oregon Trail. Spend all your $ on ammunition; wonder why your wagon is falling apart and everyone is dying of dysentery"

@fart MJ's license plate is RTBRFAN, tru fact

just saw the coolest license plate, ABS6969

lol @ living in a country where it's politically easier to shut down the government than Guantanamo #fuckedupbuttrue

everybody at the spelling bee laughed at me for spelling RC "tyco" :-(

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa http://twitpic.com/4iaga8

RT @mickey_mouse28: Ha ha, gosh

WHY DOESNT MICKEY MOUSE TWEET