Everybody's favorite comic strip, Hog & Dog, has been updated with thirteen new installments, including the 200th strip. The astute reader will note that most of these were made in March, hence the multiple references to early 2008.

we're getting a text message from the obama campaign

patch it through

hey this is joe biden

aw fuck

just wanted to let you know torture is illegal and im gonna be all over your ass if i find you torturin' when im vp

txt u l8r qt ;)

3:26:57
3:26:58
3:26:59
3:27:00

explorer

(abridged)

R: go back to camp
B: they kicked me out because i wet my pets
B: uh
B: pants
K: you wet your pets?
K: sick fuck
R: oh my god
R: i've been waiting all night
R: for the right segway for this story
P: a) segway
P: b) segue
A: segue, idiot GOD
P: c) either a or b
P: d) neither
P: e) branndi
K: scooter
K: E!
R: i'm talking about a segway you condescending jerks
R: ok segue
R: who cares
R: anyway i accidentally pissed on my dog this morning

The print section, which catalogues most of our print publications, is now live, although the links are not yet active. Take a look!

alright so long story short 3 months ago I got a press invitation to the opening of the simpsons ride at universal studios hollywood (back before it burned down) because apparently my joke simpsons site makes me a member of The Media or somethin'. I took some some pictures of "famous people" on the "yellow carpet" from behind a bunch of photographers from the Real Media and also some clowns and stuff. you can check 'em out here on this flickr (??) photostream (??) set thing

featuring guest appearances from anna nicole smith's baby's father, bart simpson, matt groening, james l. brooks, some clowns, fred willard, and pre-heart attack kelsey grammer

SCENE FROM UPCOMING MUMMY MOVIE

BRENDAN FRASER: Well here I am in the center of the earth with nary a mummy in sight *turns around and sees a freaking DINOSAUR MUMMY*

THE ULTIMATE ACT OF WIKIVANDALISM

Oh sure you may think you're cock of the walk when you edit the Wikipedia article on Doug characters and change Mr. Bone's name to "Mr. Boner." But your little juvenile act of wikivandalism is only fleeting. Some dude dedicated to preserving the sanctity of the Doug article is gonna erase your edits in only a few hours, if not minutes. They even have little robots to do that sort of thing now. Every day, roving bands of Wikipedia fact checkers (once an oxymoron) comb through articles and demand sources and citations for every sentence in Wikipedia, which is why you see ^{[citation needed]} everywhere. If you really want to mess with Wikipedia, you gotta think big. Here's how to do it:

1. Become a reporter for a respected news source, such as The New York Times or the BBC.
2. Find a fake, unverified fact from a Wikipedia article. (Example: Neematoads are slimy, ugly creatures that reside in ponds and if you catch one you'll be the most popular kid in school.)
3. In one of your articles for the aforementioned respected news source, drop in that fake fact.
4. Since the fake fact is now in a legitimate source, your article can now be used as a source for it on Wikipedia. The fake fact is now "true."
5. Profit! (This is mostly a figure of speech as I haven't figured out how one would profit from this yet)

This will take at least a decade as you attend journalism school and move up the ranks, but I'm sure you're more than up to the task.

  NEW NEW YORKER CONTROVERSY  

Dogs on the Internet??????

Is this The New Yorker's idea of a sick joke??? Is that what we've come to? This is simply tasteless and offensive. I'm speechless. Honestly, which idiots of the week gave this cartoon the green light? Where are their heads? What country are they living in? This was a stupid, stupid, thing to do, by arrogant elitist white people associated with the magazine who assumed the rest of the country is tuned in like they are. This is what we have to deal with in America. And yet again, you'd never see them try anything like this with a cat.

RUBBERCAT.NET/SIMPSONS NEWS SECTION REDESIGNED... IMPROVED BLOGGER TEMPLATE MORE "DRUDGE REPORT"-LIKE, SOURCES SAY... BROWSING EASIER THAN EVER WITH MONTHLY ARCHIVES AND CATEGORIES OR "TAGS"... ALSO SOME "WEB 2.0" LINKS (???)... DEVELOPING...

Using a complex computer algorithm developed by a team of five MIT graduate students, I have managed to combine over five years of Ziggy strips into one:

TIME TO NUKE THE INTERNET

It had a good run

goodbye everybody

rubbercat.net is five years old today!! And it has a shiny new look!! Hooray!!!!!

Let's look back at some memories:

• first post
• Introduction to that lovable comic strip duo Hog & Dog; also the first political cartoon, which will set the tone for years to come
• Doug supporting character Chalky Studebaker finally gets the appreciation he so rightfully deserves
• I rate the comics
• The Punctuation Train pulls into town for some grammar joviality
• The first of many conversations between Jack Bauer and his friends
• Vampire Joe McCarthy, the Fake Steve Jobs of blood-sucking senators, starts blogging
• Red X Pavillion opens for all your red x needs
• I talk politics with a Dennis Kuchinich supporter
• First reference to Mallard Fillmore, which will become a constant fixation here on the site
• I combine Catch-22 and Catcher in the Rye
• I set matters straight with The Official "My Brother and Me" FAQ
• take your pills, which pretty much only works properly in Internet Explorer because that's the way we rolled back in 2004
• Election 2004 if it took place in space
• I get all kinds of mad at Mr. President George Bush Jr. just like that Olbermann guy from the tee-vee
• I totally sock it to American Dad
• Probably the weirdest series of pages I've ever done
• Halloween 2005 is extra-spooky
• After doing it all by hand for 2-and-a-half years, I embrace Blogger and the rest of "Web 2.0"
• I explain Clarissa Explains It All
• I attempt to make fun of tech rumor sites but it looks all terrible because I'm not really sure how this whole "HTML" thing works
• The worst joke in the universe???
• good news and bert news, which still makes me laugh
• I come up with Jokes to Say When A Celebrity Dies; unfortunately, Roy Scheider is the first on that list to die
• Vampire Joe McCarthy on security
• A farewell to Web 1.0???
• I make a nerdy Simpsons site and it is well-recieved by other Simpsons nerds
• I write a bunch of words about a goddamn Mallard Fillmore strip
• Kramer gets a MySpace
• President Palmer gets an iPhone
• I recap the comics
• Big-time movie site JoBlo (among a few other sites) reports a joke page about the then-upcoming Simpsons Movie DVD I wrote as fact
• Vampire Joe McCarthy reflects on Senator Lieberman
• My weird Doug film noir script gets a major update
• My personal favorite Anthropomorphic Republican Duck comic
• President Palmer reflects on Senator Obama
• Universal Studios mistakes rubbercat.net/simpsons for a legitimate press organization and gives me a press badge for the opening of the Simpsons Ride (more on this soon)
• rubbercat.net turns five

Thanks for reading!!!! You rule

SNEAK PREVIEW OF MY UPCOMING SCIENCE-FICTION NOVEL

"get me some soma code red" "thatll be 500 spacecredits" said the robot clerk

As you probably know by now, Dunkin Donuts made some ad featuring popular TV chef Rachael Ray donning a black-and-white scarf that maybe sort of kinda looks like a keffiyeh that Palestinans sometimes wear. According to professional meathead Michelle Malkin, that keffiyeh has come to symbolize "murderous Palestinian jihad," which means Ray and Dunkin Donuts are in league with the terrorists or something.

This, of course, is the same Dunkin Donuts which just last month was running a commercial catering to American xenophobia of anything remotely sounding "Fratalian."

Originally I thought this was just another hilarious example of the weird, paranoiac culture war waged by conservatives on any cultural product perceived to have even the slightest liberal sympathies (see here), and I had a good laugh over it. Then Dunkin Donuts pulled the ad down, with Malkin remarking how "refreshing" it is "to see an American company show sensitivity to the concerns of Americans opposed to Islamic jihad and its apologists," and I remembered that people like her have actual influence.

I, for one, was hoping Dunkin Donuts would stand by the commercial, forcing Malkin's followers to form some sort of uber-patriotic, America-themed donut shop to combat liberal pastry bias in the same vein of such hilarious conservative ventures as W Ketchup, Conservapedia, and GodTube. Think about it: All the doughnuts would have red, white and blue frosting. There could be a jelly-filled donut called "The Bleeding Heart." Instead of bearclaws they'd have eagleclaws. Instead of doughnut holes they'd have Freedom Balls. The interior would be filled with all kinds of Americana kitsch with flags everywhere and they'd play songs by Darryl Worley and Randy Travis non-stop. The only newspapers available would be the Washington Times and the New York Post. On the roof would be a giant inflatable Statue of Liberty holding up a sign announcing their new 9 doughnuts for $11 special and there'd be fireworks every night. The name? Ronnie's Donuts, in honor of true American patriot Ronald Reagan.

It would be glorious.