//Text Banner Rotation Script 1.1 Copyright 2003-2004 by MyKazaam.com Author: Yaza. You must leave this copyright header in tact for use. Please read the License file that accompanies the full package of this script. For support visit http://www.mykazaam.com
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banner[0]='"This is Mallard Fillmore, reporting from Boston, which is filled to capacity with Democrats this week... so what else is new?"'
banner[1]='"You know what I always say: when you’re right, you’re right!!!"'
banner[2]='"New studies show that contrary to popular mythology, the average home-schooled child has no problem ‘socializing’ with other children... as long as he remembers to use smaller words and shorter sentences!!!"'
banner[3]='"I can’t believe it! Two years ago in this comic strip, Babrbara Streisand couldn’t spell Dick Gephardt’s name... and now it’s happened in real life!!! This strip predicts the future! Do you realize what this means? There could actually be a conservative journalist in real life someday!!!"'
banner[4]='"Medicare has just redefined obesity as less of a condition that a person has control over and should take responsibility for and more of a disease that needs to be ‘fixed’ medically... sort of like how we’ve treated pregnancy for the past 30 years!!!"'
banner[5]='"New polls show that, even in a robost economy, there remain some deceptions the American citizenry simply won’t tolerate... saying you’ve ‘always been a Yankees fan,’ for instance!!!"'
banner[6]='"The Movie Ratings system has come under a lot of scrutiny lately... It’s a ‘self-policing’ system... which means it works about as well as Janet Reno’s investigations of the guy who appointed her!!!"'
banner[7]='"Ever notice that the same people who seem most indignant about Bill Gates someday having a monopoly are perfectly happy with the public school system having one?"'
banner[8]='"The guy who wrote this ‘fictionalized biography’ just made up lots of negative stuff about President Reagan! Doesn’t he know that’s the media’s job?!!"'
banner[9]='"Good news and bad news on the Y2K front: Most of the nation’s computers will not mistakenly think it’s January 1st, 1900! However... most of the nation’s liberals will continue to believe it’s 1969!!!"'
banner[10]='"Some scientists now say that global warming may have less to do with ‘greenhouse gasses’ than with the sun getting hotter during some time periods... leaving other researchers with the problem of finding a way to blame this on the United States!!!"'
banner[11]='"I gotta admit... as much I like John Ashcroft, I found his comparison of moderates to ‘dead skunks’ to be offensive and insulting... to every dead skunk in this country!!!"'
banner[12]='"I use... too many... ellipses..."'
banner[13]='"I’m sorry, as a professional journalist, I shouldn’t have used the term ‘French pansies’... it’s redundant!!!"'
banner[14]='"The Dan Rather scandal begs the question, why doesn’t this "overzealous reporting" happen on stories that are critical of liberals or their policies? Oh, yeah.. that would require that the media first DO stories criticals of liberals or their policies!!! "'
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