IN THE NEWS

يا إلهي! Iran Bans Simpsons Dolls

2012-02-06T19:39:28Z

The Country of Iran has taken the unprecedented step of banning the foreign import of Simpsons dolls, thereby throwing a wrench in peace negotiations and putting the entire international community in mortal jeopardy.

Oh, sure, the Iranian Secretary for Policy-making at the Institute for the Intellectual Development of Children and Young Adults in Tehran (the Iranian equivalent of the IntelDevChiYA czar) claims they're doing it so as not to corrupt the morals of Iranian youth with Western depravity, but we all know the real reason: to strike back America for the tough economic sanctions we've been putting on them to get them to stop being so nuke-curious and weird. As we all know, the production of Simpsons crap is America's largest industry, and the loss of such a big market could really hamper our economic recovery and prolong the recession. This is Iran's way of letting us know they mean business. Diplomats are working around the clock trying to come up with an agreement, but have been met with resistance. Just yesterday, President Obama told NBC's Matt Lauer that "all options are on the table" with regards to the Simpsons ban; "I will not rest until every Iranian child has a Bart Simpson plush doll," the president vowed.

]]> The news doesn't state if the ban affects non-doll-based Simpsons merchandise, including aprons, board games, comic books, DVDs, energy drinks, fishing lures, GPS systems, hoodies, inhalers, jewelry, keychains, lamps, medicine, Nike shoes, ornaments, postage stamps, quizzes, ringtones, skateboards, T-shirts, underwear, video games, wall calendars, xylophones, yo-yos, zeppelins and fluffy, fluffy beach towels. Surely the Iranians aren't crazy enough to ban the beach towels. Right?

[Reuters]

So What Was Up With That Rag Episode?

2012-02-03T00:29:17Z

After failing to come up with any new ideas for Simpsons episodes, the writers decided to call it quits and throw in the towel... then, as they gazed upon the towel they threw, suddenly became struck with inspiration and wrote a whole episode around it. At least, that's how I imagine this rag episode came about.

I didn't see it, but I read the Wikisimpsons article about it, which is chock full of insane plot details like "Moe is part yeti," "Moe has a magical talking bar rag from the Middle Ages voiced by Jeremy Irons," "Milhouse's mom chokes on a rock and refuses the Heimlich maneuver," and "Moe is part yeti."

Judging from the feedback on the internet, "the rag episode" represents yet another low point for the series, like jockey gnomes, "the Israel episode," and whatever that Ke$ha thing was.

]]> Here's a sample of the response from people who actually did see it:

.@rubbrcatsimp Last night The Simpsons aired an episode about Moe's rag. It was the story of his rag. I am not joke. The rag could talk.
— bhlaab (@bhlaab) January 30, 2012

Hayden Childs, AV Club:

This episode, which tells the story of Moe's dishrag, has such an unconventional premise that it might well have been a surrealist masterpiece. Instead it is the most conventional type of story possible for The Simpsons, being mainly an excuse to drop the cast into various moments of history and capping it all with a treacly message about the power of friendship and the love of dogs.

Matt Garvey, alt.tv.simpsons:

Well that was remarkable from start to finish... for being ridiculous. I enjoy a good high concept, and I appreciate the "unlikely tale of an object" angle... but this episode just didn't know what to do with itself. [...] But the real problem is that it just wasn't all that funny (or touching) - full of obvious gags, you know? It could have been a lot better without much effort.

No, no, The Simpsons isn't out of ideas; they've always wanted to do an episode about a rag but never had the chance.
— Joe Schmitt (@joeschmitt) January 30, 2012

Charlie Sweatpants, Dead Homer Society:

This episode is such a patchwork of unrelated elements that it's difficult to discern a structure or theme. Oh sure, there's the rag, but the rag seems to move between kinda, sorta real history like Michelangelo and Vikings to fanciful tales like One Thousand and One Nights[...] Things made just as little sense back in Springfield, particularly when you remember that Milhouse produced Drederick Tatum from nowhere to punch Bart in the arm. I know things don't tend to make sense these days, but this did seem like an especially "Fuck you, audience" effort on their part.

FUN GAME: Take any statement regarding Terri Schiavo and substitute any instance of her name with "The Simpsons"
— whisman (@robwhisman) February 2, 2012

Jonah Flynn (former webmaster of The Springfield Shopper), No Homers Club:

The bar keeps getting lower. I never thought I'd ever become this disenchanted with the show after being one of its biggest defenders for twenty years.

Last but not least, here's a quote from Magnum at nerdgroupies that sums up the whole thing:

the next time you watch lisa saying goodbye to mr. bergstrom on the subway platform, or homer gazing at the stars reflecting on his life without a mother, remember that at those very moments horse jockey gnomes and sentient medieval bar rags were plotting their revenge on springfield

That really puts salt in the wound, doesn't it?

Matt Groening Struck By Mummy's Curse, Turned Into Doll

2012-01-25T00:56:16Z

Simpson creator Matt Groening went to Egypt to check out the pyramid and he foolishly ignored all the hieroglyphic warnings and trespassed into the forbidden zone when all of a sudden The Mummy appeared and cast a big curse on him. As karmic retribution for all his brazen merchandising and capitalist crimes, Mr. Groening was turned into a piece of merchandise himself, how ironic. Now he is no longer human, he is just a doll and can't do human things anymore, rip.

OK but seriously now, for just fifty American dollars you can buy a toy version of the guy whose signature appears on all your other Simpsons toys. Here's what the solicitation says:

Created by legendary "Life is Hell" cartoonist Matt Groening, THE SIMPSONS is celebrating its 500th episode in February 2012, and Kidrobot is honoring the father of primetime animation in the only way we know how - making him into a 6-inch vinyl toy! Complete with goatee and glasses, director's jacket, and pad and pencil accessories, it is the first EVER Simpsons Matt Groening toy.

Essentially, if you cut out the middlemen, you can pay a guy money and he will give you a doll version of himself. This is so weird and messed up that I needed to lie down to fully contemplate the many levels of Meta this object encapsulates.

]]> This toy thing is the latest example of Matt Groening injecting himself into Simpsons media. Over the past eight years, he's made a couple guest appearances as himself, his face is on the spine of the Season 12 DVD, and there's a whole level in a video game where you have to take him down. Becoming an action figure was the next logical step in his newfound quest to be part of his own creation, like the TV producer equivalent of a birth reenactment.

Not to toot my own horn, but I believe I was present when this quest formed in his head. I was at the Simpsons panel at Comic-Con in 2003, where I witnessed some guy from the Simpsons Collector Sector present Groening with a homemade toy version of himself, I guess as some sort of Simpsons dork offering to The One True Creator (PBUH). Little did I know that as soon as he received it, Groening secretly began plotting a way to bring it to market and make money off it. First, he would have to slowly introduce his Simpsonized likeness to the masses, hence the in-show appearances. Then he'd have to forge a partnership with a luxury toymaker (Kidrobot has been making Simpsons toys for a couple years now). Then, bam - a Matt Groening doll. It took him nearly nine years, but he did it. Now that's dedication.

Maybe this is a sign of things to come. Once the merchandise-makers exhaust all the other characters (I'm still waiting for a Just Stamp The Ticket figurine), the only natural course of action will be to start producing a line of all the other Simpsons writer-producers. Imagine the possibilities! Maybe the George Meyer doll could come with a little copy of Army Man, and the James L. Brooks doll could come with a Spanglish poster! You could re-enact the Simon/Groening feud with your officially licensed Sam Simon and Matt Groening dolls! You could finally get your revenge on Mike Scully by putting his toy surrogate in the microwave! You could have John Swartzwelder go on a playdate with the Ron Paul action figure! Heck, once you collect 'em all, you can gather up the whole gang and hold imaginary writer meetings in your Dream Gracie Films Bungalow! Someone please schedule me a pitch meeting with the toy company ASAP!!!!!

[Kidrobot]

Fox Developing Their Own Adult Swim

2012-01-17T19:20:48Z

Fox hired a guy from Adult Swim to find out how to better compete with Adult Swim and his solution was for Fox to make their own Adult Swim. Brilliant! The two hour programming block will air on Saturdays at 11pm starting next year.

Basically, they're grabbing up all the "edgy" cartoons they don't have room for on Sunday nights (which I will henceforth refer to as "Animation Domination Prime") and dumping them on Saturday nights, formerly the home of MADtv, Wanda Sykes's late-night talk show, and the remaining episodes of Sit Down, Shut Up they were contractually obligated to air. Nobody knows what's on there now. The audience for this thing will primarily consist of Adult Swim viewers who forgot Saturdays are when Adult Swim airs The Animes.

]]> This programming block, name still to be determined, will also be a "new digital multi-platform network," which I guess is what they call websites nowadays. There's too much proactive paradigming in this paragraph:

The digital channel will extend across platforms such as Web, mobile apps, game consoles and Video on Demand. It kicks off in 2012 and will feature 50 original short-form pieces per year, online windows of FOX animated shows, and user-adapted content. It will create a unique opportunity for fans and up-and-coming talent to engage with professional FOX-curated content, which they could possibly platform into their own series. FOX will also use its expertise and cross-promotional power to nurture these new assets through this pipeline.

It sounds almost exactly like MTV's recently-relaunched Liquid Television, except less cool, especially when you consider most of the "original short-form pieces" will probably resemble Seth MacFarlane's cartoon thing.

And then there's this:

"These new late-night series will be assets in their own right - but the clear possibility exists for a breakout digital success to graduate to primetime."

Oh, I get it. This whole endeavor is just a testing bed for finding replacements The Simpsons and Family Guy when those long-running staples eventually, mercifully go off the air. Time to update my brackets!

[TV by the Numbers]

Mass Euthanasia Scheduled For February

2012-01-10T05:09:01Z

Fox is always looking for new ways to encourage people to kill themselves. With their plans for an all-Simpsons channel having failed to materialize, it looked like their attempts to integrate The Simpsons into their master plan were dead on arrival.

Luckily, the Guinness Book of World Records stepped up to the plate and came up with a brilliant scheme that protects Fox from any liability: locking a bunch of people in a room and forcing them to watch all 500 episodes of The Simpsons, including the 300 or so that comprise The Bad Seasons. Whoever is still alive at the end of this charade will obtain 10,500 US dollars in hush money.

]]> Here is the press release:

In celebration of THE Simpsons' historic 500th episode milestone, FOX invites fans of the iconic animated series to participate in THE Simpsons Ultimate Fan Marathon Challenge at Hollywood & Highland in Los Angeles. Beginning on Wednesday, Feb. 8, fans will come together to watch up to 500 continuous episodes of THE Simpsons in an attempt to break the current Guinness World Record of 86 hours, 6 minutes and 41 seconds for the longest continuous television viewing. The contest winner will take home a $10,500 prize and an array of THE Simpsonsmerchandise, including products exclusively designed to commemorate the 500th episode.

Remember when world records used to involve actually building or doing something, instead of just sitting in front of a TV? Yeah, me neither. Anyway, this sounds like the perfect way to kill yourself if you're feeling depressed the week before Valentine's Day - no muss, no fuss, a bunch of handy witnesses nearby. Fair warning: the last thing you see might be Grampa marrying Aunt Selma.

[Zap2It]

Arab Newspaper Calls Matt Groening "One Weird Creature"

2012-01-06T06:03:08Z

The National, an English-language newspaper in the United Arab Emirates, called Simpsons creator Matt Groening "one weird creature" for no apparent reason.

THE BASICS, PART ONE The Simpsons is the longest-running scripted show in television history - and a cultural phenomenon that is recognised the world over. Its creator, the cartoonist Matt Groening, is one weird creature.

What a baffling little statement. There's no elaboration or explanation whatsoever. "Weird," okay, I can buy that. But "creature?" Like he's a jolly little gnome-person or something? And this is supposed one of the basic facts one should know about The Simpsons?

Perhaps The National should change its name to "The Irrational."

[The National]

Year in Review: The Top Stories of 2011

2012-01-01T02:19:56Z

Well here we are at the end of yet another year, and The Simpsons is still on the air, and will remain so for the forseeable future. Here are the top twenty Simpsons-related stories of the year, as reported by IN THE NEWS, considered by some to be the very best, most intrepid Simpsons news source in the known universe....

]]> Long-Lost Simpsons Clip Resurfaces - An awfully prescient Bart Simpson explains why The Simpsons is still on the air.

Cato Institute Actually Just A Bunch of Simpsons Dorks - Cartoon dorks infiltrate the Cato Institute and try to destroy high-speed rail by comparing Vice President Biden to monorail grifter Lyle Lanley.

Internet Randomly Assigns Bart Simpson A Birthday - For some reason the internet it was Bart Simpson's birthday, but I set the record straight with some straight-up FACTS.

Matt Groening Finally Sells Out - Yes, it's true. The reclusive creator of The Simpsons finally okayed the production of clothing with his characters on them.

Meltdowns Being Removed From The Simpsons - An earthquake basically made Japan an uninhabitable radioactive cesspool, so the proper response was to censor all negative portrayals of meltdowns and whatnot from a cartoon. Nuclear Power Is Safe

Cartwright to Atheist: Don't Have A Cow, Man - Nancy Cartwright tried to inject some Scientology into public schools, but she said some catchphrases in her Bart voice so everyone laughed it off.

Boring Cartoon Sitcom To Be Remade By Boring Cartoon Sitcom Guy - What if The Flintstones was "edgy" like Family Guy??? I predict a lot of jokes about "getting stoned"

Writing Outsourced to Shippers - The Simpsons has been fanfiction for a long time, but now they've made it official.

There's A Family Guy MMO Coming Out - I don't think it ever actually came out though? Oh well

Royal Couple to Simpsons: "We Are Not Amused" - The Simpsons got rejected by royalty, ha ha

News Corp. Just Straight Up Hacking Everyone These Days - Things aren't looking good for the Simpsons' corporate parent! Or at least they weren't back in July. Now nobody cares about it.

The Simpsons Are Going To Antarctica!!! - But will it hold a candle to The Simpsons Go To Afghanistan?

Polly Platt (1939 - 2011) - We paid our respects to the woman who introduced James L. Brooks to Matt Groening.

A Primer on Possible Simpsons Replacements - Just kidding, The Simpsons will never die, ever, and if it does it's going to take a long time to get rid of the smell.

Marge Simpson Had Rabbit Ears - Finally, undeniable proof that Marge Simpson's secret rabbit ears were canon for one fleeting moment.

There Is No God: Simpsons Renewed Through Season 25 - A long, rambling post about the big Simpsons pay dispute thing.

Milhouse Could've Starred In A Saturday Morning Cartoon - Did you know Matt Groening pitched a cartoon featuring Milhouse before The Simpsons? I thought this was a neat little nugget of Simpsons trivia but it turns out nobody else cared, at all.

Libya Imitates The Simpsons - Hahaha they stuck a dead guy in a freezer and showed it to people. That literally happened.

Three-Eyed Fish Discovered Near Nuclear Power Plant - WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE.

Positive Reviews Are Virtually Indistinguishable From Negative Reviews - Not even Simpsons cheerleaders can deny the unoriginality.

Herman Cain Channeling President Schwarzenegger From The Simpsons Movie - Ha ha, Herman Cain, remember that guy? He said some pretty stupid stuff, like inadvertent Simpsons quotes.

It's Been 22 Years Since The First Simpsons Episode - And 22 years since the first negative review.

See you in 2012, losers!

It's Been 22 Years Since The First Simpsons Episode

2011-12-17T19:43:18Z

Twenty-two years ago today, America got its first taste of The Simpsons stretched out to 22 minutes with the premiere of the show's Christmas special, "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire."

I was going to post some reviews from the time, but the only one I could find (that wasn't behind a paywall) was this one from Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

A mighty Simpsons Day to you all.

They're Finally Arresting Family Guy Writers

2011-12-13T20:31:36Z

Holy crap, Lois! Remember the time when Family Guy writer Patrick Meighan got sent to the slammer for the heinous crime of occupying Los Angeles? What the deuce??? He set up a blog to share his ordeal.

I unlinked my arms voluntarily and informed the LAPD officers that I would go peacefully and cooperatively. I stood as instructed, and then I had my arms wrenched behind my back, and an officer hyperextended my wrists into my inner arms. It was super violent, it hurt really really bad, and he was doing it on purpose. When I involuntarily recoiled from the pain, the LAPD officer threw me face-first to the pavement. He had my hands behind my back, so I landed right on my face. The officer dropped with his knee on my back and ground my face into the pavement. It really, really hurt and my face started bleeding and I was very scared. I begged for mercy and I promised that I was honestly not resisting and would not resist.

With us Occupy LA protestors, however, they set bail at $5,000 and booked us into jail. Almost none of the protesters could afford to bail themselves out. I'm lucky and I could afford it, except the LAPD spent all day refusing to actually *accept* the bail they set. If you were an accused murderer or a rapist in LAPD custody that day, you could bail yourself right out and be back on the street, no problem. But if you were a nonviolent Occupy LA protestor with bail money in hand, you were held long into the following morning, with absolutely no access to a lawyer.

I guess you could say it was the opposite of "freakin' sweet." Giggity giggity goo, damn you vile woman, etc.

[My Occupy LA Arrest, by Patrick Meighan via AMERICAblog]

EXCLUSIVE: Simpsons Drama Bombshell! Matt Groening Returns to Show With MAJOR Changes in Store; All Secondary Characters To Be Killed Off?!?!

2011-12-09T22:41:31Z

True Simpsons maniacs know that the show's reclusive creator, Matt Groening, hasn't been a part of the show since 1999, when he retreated to a yurt in central Oregon and cut off all ties with the outside world in a self-imposed exile. Well, apparently the Groenster has returned to the show, and he's been making some MAJOR, DRASTIC CHANGES that will be hitting your TV screens in 2012.

I just received this e-mail from an anonymous Simpsons employee, literally less than 4 seconds ago. This brave insider has put his or her career on the line by breaking the terms of his or her non-disclosure agreement to tell us this EXCLUSIVE tale of behind-the-scenes turbulence and tyranny. I am republishing hir message in its entirety because it has to be seen to be believed...

]]>

Dear Mr. Cat,

There's a lot of turbulence over at Simpsons HQ, as the recent row over the show's contractual future has encouraged Our Creator Matt Groening to return to personally overseeing the show's production. Not only is he spearheading the reversion to hand-drawn Ullman-era animation, but he has also ordered that we no longer broadcast in HD "because it looks like horseshit" and that we drop the extended intro sequence. He insists that these changes will appeal to hardcore fans of his style and ensure that the show will profitable for decades to come.

In the most troubling development, Mr. Groening has also assumed total control over the show's writing process. Matt Groening has, to put it diplomatically, a very idiosyncratic idea of humor. He is refocusing the show back onto its core characters and initial concept of the trials and tribulations of a dysfunctional lower middle class American family. To punctuate this change, most of Springfield's beloved secondary characters will be killed off later this season in an episode where Reagan's "Star Wars" missile defense system levels the city as part of a genocide against leftists. When Mike Scully pointed out that Star Wars was never completed and Reagan had died years ago, Groening fired him for being "a tea party jackboot like that fascist Schwartzwelder."

Here are the first four episodes slated to air in 2012, all written by Matt Groening:

HOMARLES IN MARGE

When Marge's alcoholism spirals out of control, Homer steps into her role as the responsible parent. But is he prepared to cure Maggie's self-mutilation habit before it's too late? Guest starring Lynda Barry.

OILS WELL THAT ENDS WELL

When Homer is unable to purchase a turkey for Thanksgiving, the Simpsons instead spend their holiday protesting the Persian Gulf War. Guest starring Al Brooks as Secretary of State Jim Baker.

IT'S MY STRIFE AND IT'S MY LIFE

Bart refuses to accept his own mortality and decides to rebel against the inexorable death of his identity; Lisa believes that a heroin addiction will aid her jazz career.

(ANNOYED GRUNT) EXIT

Homer directly confronts the grim hopelessness of the human condition in a Godless universe via a 23-minute-long dialogue with a one-eared bunny who may or may not be a figment of his subconscious. Guest starring Paula Poundstone.

Please, please, please help us send Mr. Groening back to his secluded cabin in Portland. We on the production staff are all genuinely frightened of him and are powerless to stop him due to bar napkin contracts he signed in 1987. According to FOX legal policy, these contracts are legitimate. We have thus far been unable to contact James L. Brooks. None of his friends or family know his whereabouts, and we fear him to be long dead. We even tried luring Mr. Groening onto "Portlandia," a show that seems better suited to his comic sensibilities, but this effort failed as we had forgotten that Bill Oakley, a producer on that show, has been feuding with Groening for years over a blintzes/fence-painting deal gone sour.

We need loyal fans like you to speak out against these crushing changes to our beloved show. Imagine a Simpsons without weekly billboard and flyby gags or crisp, uniform animation. A horrifying thought indeed.

Sincerely,

(ANONYMOUS SIMPSONS EMPLOYEE)

~~ Follow me on Twitter http://twitter.com/virgiltexas ! ~~

~~ "Do you think our love can make miracles?" - Ryan Gosling, "The Notebook" ~~

Well, there you have it folks. Call your congresscritter, alert the feds, tweet your barber - do anything you can to help Simpsons staff members depose of this self-imposed despot. A hearty thanks to this anonymous insider for alerting us to these troubling developments. We will keep you updated on this story as it develops...

This Is What The Simpsons Looks Like In Nightmare World

2011-12-07T19:56:44Z

Artist JK Keller created an intense video manipulation of The Simpsons entitled Realigning My Thoughts on Jasper Johns that will break your browser and possibly your mind if you try to watch the whole piece on his website. Here's the introduction, which gives you a good idea of what the rest is like...

]]>

In case you couldn't tell from the couch gag alone (and you call yourself a Simpsons fan??), the original episode is Season 10's "Mom and Pop Art," in which contemporary artist Jasper Johns guest stars as himself, which might help explain the title but also not really. Keller glitchified the episode by vectorizing each frame and processing them in Adobe Illustrator (there's a more detailed explanation on Triangulation Blog), resulting in this nightmarish hallucination. The full piece consists of nine screens simultaneously playing the distorted episode, and viewers are invited to adjust the video and the volume of each screen.

It's currently part of an exhibition in San Francisco entitled Remains in the End Times, which describes itself as "paradigm of apocalyptic hallucinations and 'tech-gnosis' contrasting modernity with ruination." Maybe you should go see it if you're in the area?

[JK Keller via Google+]

James L. Brooks Warns of Siri's Threat to Humanity

2011-12-02T05:34:48Z

Simpsons executive producer James L. Brooks took to Twitter on Thursday to express his growing concerns about the iPhone search application Siri. Announcing that he was "on the brink of an insight through a troubling plot against us," Brooks spent the next 45 minutes tweeting observations about the app. Mainly, he suspects Siri reflects our emotions, nothing "I believe that when I was hyper the other day she talked faster." How, exactly, this proves Siri is plot against mankind is unclear. Nevertheless, Brooks is optimistic "we have a chance against her diabolical programmers" if he heed his warnings.

]]> Here is the full series of Tweets:

"Funtendo" Becomes A Real Thing

2011-12-01T04:07:45Z

The name of Modern Simpsons's devastating Nintendo "parody," Funtendo, has apparently been hijacked for a quasi-legal breakout box (I have no idea what that is) that "lets you hook the NES, N64, and Wii Classic controllers up to your PC" via USB so you gamers can play your little quasi-legal Nintendo ROMs with an actual joystick instead of a stupid keyboard as a controller. Feeling nostalgic for Mario Kart 64? Well you'd better get your soldering iron ready, because you'll have to assemble it yourself with these amazingly simple instructions!

And yet, spending a weekend putting that all together sounds infinitely more entertaining than watching The Simpsons's inexplicable Wii parody from a couple years ago that doesn't actually parody anything, and would definitely be considered product placement had they not cleverly misspelled it.

[The Verge]

Herman Cain Channeling President Schwarzenegger From The Simpsons Movie

2011-11-17T21:17:05Z

Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain likes to quote movies. And not just any movies, but movies based on cartoon franchises. As reported by our sister blog, AnimeJihad, Cain quoted a song from Pokémon: The Movie 2000 during a debate last August. As any political analyst could tell you, it was a brazen dog whistle for the highly-coveted otaku crowd (a move popularized by Lee Atwater's so-called "Shounen Strategy"). Which apparently worked, because he soon shot up to frontrunner status.

Well now the Cainster is at it again. During a campaign stop in New Hampshire, Cain wheeled out his new talking point, telling his supporters "We need a leader, not a reader."

]]> Once your mind is done reeling from the fact that a presidential hopeful just championed voluntary illiteracy as an asset in leadership, you might recall that line appearing in 2007's The Simpsons Movie and pretty much every trailer thereof. In case you've forgotten everything about that movie aside from SpiderPig, here's the scene: EPA administrator Russ Cargill presents President Arnold Schwarzenegger with "five unthinkable options" for the containment of Springfield. Schwarzenegger instantly decides on option 3, leading Cargill to ask "You don't even want to read them first?" Schwarzenegger boldly declares "I was elected to lead, not to read." (You can see it for yourself on YouTube, until the lawyers find out.)

It appears Herman Cain is basing his electoral strategy on "unknowingly" reciting Simpsons quotes, with all the irony sucked out, in the hopes that America's love for The Simpsons will subconsciously make us gravitate to him. It's a bold move, perhaps unprecedented. If he starts talking about his boyhood dream of becoming a baseball and twirling towards freedom, then it's time to start worrying.

[Talking Points Memo]

Positive Reviews Are Virtually Indistinguishable From Negative Reviews

2011-11-15T20:13:18Z

Alan Sepinwall is a big-time TV critic whose opinions are highly revered by the industry (TV producers Dan Harmon and Michael Schur both mention him in their respective AV Club walkthroughs, for example). When he talks, people listen.

Well, recently he set his sights on The Simpsons and wrote a DEVASTATING TAKEDOWN of the latest episode. Just peep these biting excerpts...

]]> "The Food Wife" felt in many ways like a mirror of the A-story from "Co-Dependent's Day." ...[T]he overall structure was fairly similar... I'm sure there are other episodes in the previous 490 you could also compare it to - Marge's initial fear, then love, of the Ethiopian food was pretty similar to Homer's experience at the sushi restaurant waaaaaay back in season 2's "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish," for instance... BLAMMO!

But at this stage, every episode of "The Simpsons" feels like it's recycling a story the show has told before - usually several times, in fact.

Hello, burn ward?

After all this time, it's incredibly rare for the show to present a new idea,

Hold that thought. I just want to point out how much this barrage of ownage sounds like a typical Dead Homer Society rant. OK, carry on.

After all this time, it's incredibly rare for the show to present a new idea, but "The Food Wife" was a good reminder of how well it can still repackage the old ones.

Wait, wait, wait... upon closer inspection, this is actually a positive review. And now that I actually read it instead of just skimming it, I see that Sepinwall is apparently friendly enough with the Simpsons staff to be invited to do audio commentary for the Season 15 DVD. Whoops.

Everyone can agree that The Simpsons nowadays is undoubtedly just a mishmash of recycled and rehashed plotlines from yesteryear. But apparently the only major difference between reviewers praising the show and reviewers trashing the show is whether or not they thought the "repackaging" was done well.

[HitFix]